Full Throttle

Today’s the day. I took a leap of faith within myself. I have always been a money cautious, penny pinching, Mr. Crab kind of gal, and today I made the decision. The decision to fully pursue what I have only dream’t of doing for so long, writing. This may seem small but that’s all it takes, one small act of courage, one small push in the right direction to get the momentum flowing and right now its full throttle. I BOUGHT MY FIRST LAPTOP! And yes I need a stiff drink.

The feeling of inadequacy came flushing in as soon as I stepped inside my car leaving Best Buy. “what the hell have I just done?!” “did I seriously just spend this kind of money today…on me?” honestly. I was cool as a cucumber on the outside paying for this laptop but my insides were boiling like hot lava, convincing me I was making a mistake, I could be investing this money in something, as if investing money in myself was less important than investing money in strangers. Yes I’m a weirdo who tends to think like that. But today I did it. I blocked out the negative vibrations of my own thoughts and let my inner heart shine bright. This laptop is an ode to myself. To take myself seriously, to at least try because honestly what have I got to lose? I have everything to gain.

I made a review today about a self-help book, “You Are A badass Everyday” by Jen Sincero and it will be my bible for the nest few days, life- time, who knows because I plan on committing myself to this lifestyle. So if any of my lovely lovely followers have any suggestions on any more motivational, pick-me-up books, or even just words of encouragement, drop them in the comments and be my writing village

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You Are A BadAss Everyday : short review/thought

✍🏻: Jen Sincero

Book: Your Are A BadAss Everyday

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ of 5

This is the second book I’ve read in the bad ass series and I read it in one day (I might have read it wrong lol.) Not that I don’t know how to read or anything like that but I think this is the kind of book where you take the chapters day by day, not just in one whole sitting. Regardless, it was just as amazing as “Your Are a Badass how to stop Doubting Your Greatness and Live An Awesome Life”. You can read this book in a single day and get great advise BUT it is not a book I would just put on a bookshelf after I read it. It’s perfect for keeping in my purse, my desk, or on a nightstand for quick pick me ups and advise to realign yourself with the universe and your goals when you’re not feeling as “badass” as you should. The writing style is the exact same, as expected (it is the same author) with a witty fun undertone and the perfect amount of pick me up cuss words to get motivated and excited about life. If you are looking for a little more of a break down and a deeper understand I would suggest reading “You Are A Badass” (yellow cover) first. Can’t wait to read another 💕

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Then She Was Gone – Book Review

I feel i must say this off the bat, this review like all of my others are not traditional, really just my thoughts and feelings and little something something about the book that may or may not entice you to read it lol.

I’ll put this rating in the beginning because I feel so strongly about it


5 stars, yes 5 whole stars! This is right now, my FAVORITE BOOK I’ve had the pleasure of reading.

Then She Was Gone – Lisa Jewell

If she could unwind the timeline, untwist it and roll it back the other way like a ball of wool, she’d see the knots in the yarn, the warming signs. Looking at it backward it was obvious all along. But back then, when she nothing about anything, she had not seen it coming. She had walked straight into it with her eyes open.

Laurel Mack loses her youngest daughter, her golden girl Ellie 10 years ago. She had her whole life ahead of her and in a blink of an eye everything changed. 10 years after the disappearance of Ellie police find her bones, The speculation that Ellie ran away does not sit right with Laurel because like any parent, she knows her daughter is happy and knows this is not in her nature. Still closure. Meeting the man of her dreams shortly after accepting her new life is everything Laurel deserves. Charismatic Floyd is seemingly perfect in all ways and quickly sweeps her off her feet, but when she meets his 9 year old daughter Poppy all of the unanswered questions of her daughters disappearance reappears, worry and terror spill back into her life, Why does his daughter look exactly like Ellie? And why doesn’t this little girl have a mother?

Lisa Jewell has written a master piece of a novel filled with intense thrill and bone-chilling suspense. Taking a traditional storyline and completely making it her own, teasing and twisting out details with every page turn, unwinding the ball of yarn with precision. I was captivated by her style. This is the first book by Lisa Jewell that I have read so i wasn’t sure what to expect but the flawless chapters spoke to me. You wouldn’t think a thriller novel could be so poetic but she pulled it off. I found myself taking my time while reading this book. Reading page after page and then digesting the new tale of the story. I put this book down a few times saying “WHAT THE F***, did that just happen!” – and I say this is the best most exciting way possible. Eveytime I thought I knew what was going to happen I next I was delightfully met with a new twist or turn, keeping me at the edge of my seat.

The Epilogue SLAYED me. The ending of the book was amazing but this gave me closure I didn’t even know I needed, I think I needed this more than Laurel Mack lol 😝 ❤️, thank you Lisa for writing this amazing novel

Side note: I ran across an article about the ending, how the author changed it and it gives the “original” version, check it out and tell me if you prefer it or not. I’m definitely into the official version but it was super interesting to read another side, the side we somewhat dream of but no it’s not right.


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The XY – Book Review

This is the first book by Virginia Bergin I have read and it wont be the last. I didnt think I was going to finish this book and I almost put it down, but I am glad I didnt. The beginning is slow but once it picks up it really picks up! To the point I couldn’t put it down for a second. The XY is a wonderful YA novel that had me on the edge of my set ready to seek change inside this dystopian new world.

“It Is lying in the road— not moving.
I stop.
It has been agreed. If any creature- a human or any other animal – suffers and cannot be helped, it should be freed – quickly, kindly, and as painlessly as possible from its misery.
There are no agreements I know of that apply, specifically, to XYs. Why would there be?
But what I do know is that they cant live outside the Sanctuaries.
It’s going to die.
I look down at my knife, lying in the road, blade still out.”

In a world run by woman, men on the brink of extinction due to a virus that attacks the Y chromosome, a new generation is born. Men are forced into sanctuaries valued for their sperm count. They are needed to re-populate the once dying world.
Due to the new Aggrements River’s world is simple, there is no crime, no reason to fear anything, these fears eradicated and taught that murder and crime was mainly at the hands of men leaves a very open and honest world where everyone plays a intricate part of today’s new society.
The Grammumas, the last generation to be in a world of men, are filled with emotions. Having seen their brothers, husbands, and children perish from the virus are automatically attached to Mason when River brings him back to the village. They decide to save him even though Help and Rescue tell them to let him die.
Virginia Bergin has perfectly written a book that battles gender stereotypes. River never growing up with gender expectations becuase in her world woman do it all. And then Mason, who learns about the world from the “once-was” video games and sex vids. To him women are pretty, wear dresses and want men’s sperm. But more than the stereotypes this is now a world where men have become second-class citizens, who’s only value is their sperm to produce more life. Sperm / people who can be traded for needed resource’s within the country.
After River breaks one of the Golden Aggrements, Mason relies on his Code of Honor to save her. There quest for personal truth and justice turns political in knowing River and Mason are no longer the only ones who need help.

“Her name is River and she is daydreaming about the exploration of outter space. It is an autumn evening. Dark is coming soon. She is miles from home. She feels no fear. Why would she? There are no predators. No such thing as ghost. Fear belongs to another time. It lives on only in the memories of other. She feels no fear at all. Not even when she see’s it; the body lying in the middle of the road”

Thought-provoking and engaging. I really enjoyed this book, it left me with alot of unanswered questions. What would the world look like ran by women?. Would you enslave a group of people just to save the world and is it better to keep it hidden? Why would we need it hidden if it’s the right thing to do.

I thought the book was a little too stereotypical at first. A world ran by women, little to no crime, perfect government where everyone agrees to agree, the “perfect” number of councils, and the fact that women could be more resourceful with energy while being so cautious about the earth was just a bit much, but it’s exactly what I would have said if someone asked me a few days ago what a world ran by women would look like! I hated the idea that this generation of women would be capable of basically violating human rights (enslaving men), but when it comes to keeping the world alive and population rising it may seem like a great idea.

It seemed very unrealistic that man is the sole reason for bad around the world and that once they were gone it all went with them.

I however loved the ending, hope for change. I’m a sucker for someone to risk it all for what the believe in or even just how they feel. I also admired how The XY did not turn into a typical romance novel ( girl meets guy, girl falls crazy in love) and instead stayed true to wanting social justice and seeking political truth.

I had a few questions that are maybe supposed to be left unanswered.. was River and her bestfriend Plat (a girl if your wondering) in a relationship? Although we know the world is now ran by women not once was there talk of women being in love with another women. Just friendly relation ties. Furthermore no ethnicity was placed upon the characters, I liked this. Strangely I kept searching for something that would disclose that information but found great joy in that any race could make the characters like themselves.

Life After Life – Book review

I was unsure if I would like this book considering the time period in which it’s set. I ended up loving it!, Kate Atkinson has blown me away with Life After life and the journey it takes you on.

“What if you could live again and again, until you got it right?”

This concept is what took my initial interest in the book, as the story unfolds like an accordion you’re put in the life of Ursula Todd and the peculiar life she has been chosen to live. Ursula faces hardship after hardship during the greatest war in history and embarks on an unusual journey finding herself and the power she has to change to the fate of civilization. As she learns more about her ability to restart her life and though she often changes course accordingly, she does not always correct the similar overlapping events that take place, begging the question does she ever become completely conscious of her abilities, and if so would you change the outcome if you had the chance? Is the change for you, better for the rest of the world as we know it? As Ursulas life restarts and change, so does the events of her family and friends lives. There’s always constant traits and events the stay fundamentally the same forming the back bone of Life after life,

“Amor fati, love of fate, acceptance”

This book was perfect, although it started out fairly slow for me it quickly picked up and I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough! I love a book that will make you sit back and think about the situations of the characters and what it would be like to be in their shoes. Life after Life gave me that and more

Get more from this book in its sequel/extension A God In Ruins

A Deeper Love Inside

Porshe L. Santiaga is a rich spoiled girl who’s life is turned upside down when her house is raided by the police. Being the daughter of infamous drug lord, Ricky Santiaga, had been smooth sailing until now. A Deeper Love Inside by Sister Souljah take’s us on the Whirlwind journey of 10 year old Porshe navigating in a cold world.

As the sequel to the The Coldest Winter Ever, I had high expectation’s for “A Deeper Love Inside”, they were met no doubt!, but DEFINITELY not how I imagined. Porsche leads a different life from her sister even though trying to be exactly like her, she will forever remain different. I actual grew to love this book becuase of its differences. How can we write two stories about two different people and expect it to be the same?. The Quick witted, money-hustler Porshe is as loyal as they come. Determined to remain a true Santiaga, re-connect their family and everything they lost is her only goal. A goal made in Hope’s of recieving the same amount of love she feels for her family.

This is a true love story, a truthful side of family ties broken and love misunderstood. A lost soul looking for love in all the places we think we can get it, our families. But the reality is, alot of people don’t have that luxury. I love this book and Sister Souljah for “exposing” a very really side for some.

Dont care to much, Porsche. Every person you meet will use it against you.

The only thing that i had a problem with in this book is the lack of meaningful lessons from Sister Souljah. Usually throughout her books she has many underlying relatable messages not only directed for the inner city youth but everyone, I just didnt get as much of it as I wanted. The will to survive and keep fighting stuck out to me the most but towards the end it just fizzled out. With out ruining the book I will add that Porsche had some deep psychological issues left unanswered and some-what ignored. Does she fully heal? In the ending of The Coldest Winter Ever I thought I seen dramatic change in Winter Santiaga, not wanting her sister to have the same mindset as her and end up in the same situation. Yet as we enter near the ending of A Deeper love Inside she speaks as if she has learned nothing stuck in the same time period as when she went prison. While everyone one on the outside was moving forward she was frozen in time.

I love Sister Souljah, this another amazing novel by an amazing female writer. Much respect.